Bringing Kali Home

My heart is broken open for every mother denied the opportunity to move through her grief with intuition as her compass. After enduring the death of a child the very last thing a family needs is for the sacred time of caring for their dead to be stripped from them as well… [O]ur society has forgotten how to hold space for a mother's grief. Instead we have become proficient at dictating the parameters of her experience.

Read More

Mother's Advocacy: Alchemy for Birthing the New Paradigm

Most traditionally trained doulas accept the confines of the old paradigm "scope" that spares no expense in driving home the importance of “non-advocacy.”  Yet, Rigidity in birthwork is as useful as coffin nails, and often with the very same effect.  The pelvic girdle knows this truth well-- Seemingly concrete in composition, it is by nature designed to give and make way for burgeoning mystery.  

Read More

A Recipe for Women's Empowerment

We must become fluent in the long lost language of solidarity.  We must be willing to toil in solitude until the memory of camaraderie returns to our collective.  We are in dire need of a refresher course on the import of disobedience and the necessity of disruption. Brick by brick or by devastating blow, we must devour every structure and system of bondage before us and within, paying special attention to the ones we cosigned and helped to erect. 

Read More

Birthed In Betrayal: One Mother's Transformation Through Trauma

Patriarchy is a shapeshifter, able to manifest in many of the conventional ways-- Through silencing, coercion, spoliation of medical records and outright obstetric violence.  However, the patriarchy is insidious and can be extremely cunning.   Unbeknownst to us, it silently creeps into the concealed crevices of our splintered sisterhood.  To my dismay and sheer terror, I found one of the most secreted and sinister forms of patriarchy indwelling within our beloved natural birth movement. 

Read More

Making The Sacrifice

Letting my darkness light the way, I endeavor to continue on this priestess path with pure intention.  I strive to open more and more to the gifts of nature and every emotion that erupts as a result. No matter how "unacceptable" or "insufferable," it is my intention to unlatch my toolbox to allow every experience that appears for reintegration. 

Read More

Code Blue: The Consequence of Truth Telling

Instead of changing diapers, I find myself changing between highlighters and keyboard strokes in an effort to grasp the full extent of malfeasance that transpired before and after the death of my Sun.  

I was born for this work and I can feel the spirit of my beloved Kali Ra coursing through my finger tips as I write these words and endeavor to raise awareness so that other families do not have to suffer unnecessarily as mine has.

Read More

Girl Interrupted: Academic Repression, Six Years On

The conditions that allow for social injustice have always emerged as a result of society’s failure to recognize the rights of individuals or groups. When denial of such rights is tolerated or indeed encouraged, it is bound to fortify the bases for further repression and injustice...Our institutions of learning are the platform from which an entire society is grounded.  We must protect the sanctity and safety of these spaces. We must not allow them to become militarized zones where autonomy is muzzled and dissent is stifled.

Read More

Uninformed Consent: A Public Service Announcement

...I was convinced I had assembled the obstetric dream team.  Yet, when complications arose, my bubble didn’t just burst, it was obliterated. I learned the hard way that many Western New York families are at great risk because of some uncomfortable truths and shortfalls in competent care.  When providers deny transparency and children are injured because of it, parents are often left with a grim choice—To move on with empty arms and a heart burdened by unanswered questions, or forge forward to get answers and share them with the world.

Read More

The Holding Space

I invite you to a space that promises never to curb or control the wisdom that speaks through you-- a space that rejoices in uniqueness and encourages us to offer our stories as medicine to the world. Let us open our arms to the mystery and hold one another, despite our differences. Whether illumined by love or torn by tragedy, we are all blessings to the world. These blessings are delivered when we share our medicine and hold another as they do the same.

Read More

When We Don't Fit the Mold

I will never accept or take on as my own the judgments cast by so many in the natural birth community upon those of us who don't fit the natural birth mold. To the contrary of those propagating oversimplified mistruths, this mold is NOT one size fits all. I shudder to think how many families have been crushed when care providers attempt to force mothers and their unborn blessings into spaces and scenarios not meant for them. How many times does that magical mold become a claustrophobic coffin?

Read More

Night terrors and fertile soil

Whether it’s a ghost with a blade or the promise of certain physical disintegration, these scare tactics cannot touch our true essence. Illusions of impending catastrophe will try to convince us to abandon the sowing of seeds. They will urge us to remove our hands from fertile soil and trample precious new life as we run to erect unnecessary defenses. We have the capacity to dismiss the illusion of urgency. We can reject the fear and...

Read More

Birth Is Untamable

There is nothing wrong with imagining different scenarios and working to manifest our preferences for the big day, but birth is inherently untamable. It will always articulate its wildness, whether in the moment we offer ourselves up to the unknown, or decades later in seemingly random bouts of rage and wounded fury. The wildness will always prevail.

Read More

There IS More Than One Way to Birth A Baby

Without room made for questions or conversation, I was told by the attending obstetrician, in no uncertain terms, that "there is only one way to birth a baby and that is to push." Despite the various complications which made solid ground for intervention and my repeated pleadings over twelve hours in hospital, life-saving measures were refused... That is until my baby's heart stopped beating inside of me. Only then was I finally granted the surgery I knew could have saved my son's life. I endured the emergency cesarean without anesthesia...

Read More