So much of the spirit work done in this realm seems to need (and certainly goes right ahead and takes) periods of dormancy to regenerate and transform. Like never ending life cycles of the monarch. For me it's as reliable as clockwork. Every winter I close my shutters and block out so much of the world. If I was a computer, I would be in "sleep mode." I used to pathologize this experience and brand it as "depression," adding to a cacophony of other judgments targeted at all my perceived shortfalls. Yet, I now understand this social hiatus as a necessary hibernation for the soul.
Understanding these cycles of self with more care and compassion has really helped me to grow and carry out my work. It's no easy task falling apart every year to rise again stronger and more complete. The obstacles and heartaches I endure are all gifts, each a divine opportunity coaxing me to surrender and open further to the mystery that is my full potential. And I do endure.
I think it no coincidence the oracle "springs forth" every year, right alongside Mama Nature. When soft and supple leaves begin to unfurl, it feels as though I take first breath again. And then, as the summer extends, her leaves become hearty and robust, reflected in my confidence and fearless receptivity to the world and all my powers. I rejoice in Autumn and exult at this period of time that is, for me, the climax of my cycle. Then, as her last leaves touch ground, my inspiration wanes and my breath becomes shallow. Mother and I both transitioning back to silence in synchrony. I mourn all the years I sat in solitude, feeling so alone in winter. No one ever told me I was in such good company!